At the east entrance of Bay Valley Medical Center, a nurse slowly rolls Morrigan out of the hospital in a wheelchair.
Morrigan: (Getting up) Thank you, I think I can manage
Nurse: Hospital policy
Morrigan: I understand but I'll be fine
The nurse looks around the parking lot.
Nurse: Is anyone picking you up?
Morrigan: My father was supposed to be here but his wife sidetracked him into buying antiques
Nurse: I'm sorry
Morrigan: (Looking at her watch) Hmm, my co-worker should be here any minute
Nurse: Remember, you need rest and relaxation
Morrigan: I'm looking forward to it
Tires screech around the corner as the big brown newsvan comes tearing into the parking lot.
Morrigan: I was looking forward to it
The van roars right up next to Morrigan and the nurse. Gracie and Zach jump out simultaneously.
Gracie: (Taking Morrigan away from the nurse) GET IN THE VAN, GET IN THE VAN, HELLO, GET IN THE VAN
Zach heaves her belongings in the back as all three get inside.
Nurse: REST AND RELAXATION, MS. MCBRIDE
Gracie: (Squealing tires) Whatever, lady - OK, Morri, you have GOT to see this
Morrigan: SLOW DOWN
Zach: Where are we going Grace?
Gracie: There's an In 'n Out Burger on the corner
Morrigan: I could use some fries
Zach: NO, too many people - go to the Hobo Jungle!
Gracie: There are people there, Dumbass!
Zach: But they're HOBOS
Morrigan: Would you two, for the love of God, please calm down, slow down, and show me what it is you want me to see?
Gracie pulls into an underground parking garage and shuts the motor while Zach opens up an ice chest.
Morrigan: THAT'S what you wanted to show me, a cooler full of beer?
Zach: (Removing a false bottom and retrieving a tape) Patience, patience
Gracie: (Popping it into the player) Now I know why someone stole my footage
As the petite woman with straight dark hair scans through the tape, Morrigan reflects on what happened to her at the train wreck. She sees the hand again in her mind.
Morrigan: Huh? - yes
The tape plays at normal speed. A close-up of the train cars on fire widens out to a view of the river.
Zach: There it is!
Morrigan: (Watching) What?
Zach: Didn't you see it?
Morrigan: See what? - the train exploding?
Gracie: (Backing the tape up) What CAUSES the train to explode... watch
The segment is played again, this time in slow motion.
Morrigan: (Noticing something) A blue flash... is that lightning?
Gracie: Lightning comes from the sky, THIS came from the river!
Morrigan: Maybe it was some kind of weird weather thing, you know, with the oil, water, and fire - I didn't pay attention in my science classes, I was too busy doing the football players' English homework
Zach: Yeah, me too
Morrigan and Gracie look at Zach.
Zach: NOT PAYING ATTENTION IN SCIENCE CLASS
Everyone returns to the monitor.
Gracie: I thought about a weather phenomenon at first, but then I enhanced the image...
Gracie pushes a few buttons and the section of the flash is magnified.
Morrigan: That looks like a rod of some kind
Gracie: It's certainly not a flare gun
Zach: It lit the train like a fucking Christmas tree!
Gracie: Don't you mean a Hanukkah Menorah?
Morrigan: Do you think the Coast Guard set it?
Gracie: That's far from standard issue equipment
Zach: Knowing Anita, if she got some kind of magic wand that shot lightning bolts, she be walking around with it strapped to her hoo...
Morrigan & Gracie: ZAAACH
Zach: HELICOPTER, I was going to say HELICOPTER
Gracie: (Serious) Morrigan, you kept telling me about a hand last night - the green hand in your dream... is there a connection?
Morrigan: (Lying) I'm not sure
Gracie: Who or whatever helped you to shore could have very well caused this explosion
Morrigan: Why would anyone want to do that?
Zach: Because the officials didn't have the balls to do it - I talked to Dr. Sanchez this morning, that fire was a blessing happening when it did
Morrigan: (Rubbing her head) Magic wands, green hands, mysterious fires - this all sounds like a lame comic book by some sci-fi geek with no life!
Gracie and Zach appear ready to kill Morrigan.
Zach: Sci-Fi and comic books ARE cool!
Gracie: And we DO have lives!
Morrigan: Sorry... but you do agree about the "geek" part, right?
Morrigan: Look, I know this is a major deal here but I'm tired, I have to get my things from the von Meers and I need to go home... please!
Zach: I suppose we can do that
Gracie: (Starting the van) One of my contacts can help me enhance this shot even more, we'll go over it all later
Gracie: After you settle in, try to remember what happened to you last night
Morrigan stares out the window at the river as they drive by.
Morrigan: I'll try
Inside the von Meer estate, KJ is trying on different costumes for the Museum Ball later in the week. He heads downstairs to get his parents' opinion.
KJ: (Wearing a mask covered in leaves) Where's mom?
Karl Sr.: (Not looking up from his paper) Where she always is, either on the court or in the shops
KJ: So, what do you think of my costume?
Karl Sr.: (Briefly looking up) The Jolly Green Giant?
KJ: (Pulling the mask up) NO, I'm the Green Man!
Karl Senior looks incredulously at him.
KJ: Ona Rosa suggested it
Karl Sr.: (Returning to his paper) Ahh
KJ: What does that mean?
Karl Sr.: (Throwing his paper down) It means, when are you going to stop acting like a child and help me with the financial reports?
KJ: SOON, I promise... I just have to make a few quick phone calls and we can get started
Karl Sr.: (Getting up to leave) You know where to find me
KJ shakes his head and makes his way to the kitchen. Erika, still in surgical scrubs, enters through the back door next to it. The two stare at each other's outfits.
Erika: Jolly Green Giant?
KJ: (Hurling the mask on the table) I guess I'll go with "Plan B: D'Artagnan" - but you're going to have to come up with something more creative than a doctor
Erika: (Pouring some orange juice) What?
KJ: That's your costume for the Museum Ball, right?
Erika: Oh no, that's this week, isn't it?
KJ: YEAH - you know how important this is to Lydia... you can't bail
Erika: I know
KJ: So, if that's not your ball costume... why are you dressed like that?
Erika slowly sips her juice.
KJ: I would say "kinky time with Griffy" but I know better
Erika: An experiment that went awry also went all over my clothes, so I changed into this
KJ: (Looking out the window at Dr. Martel's car) Is Stephanie here?
Erika: (Trying to walk away) She let me borrow her car
KJ: (Following) Why were you at the hospital?
Erika: JESUS... am I on the fucking witness stand? - I went over there to get some new supplies to redo the experiment, Steph saw what a mess I was and kindly offered the scrubs and the use of her car - END OF STORY
KJ: Sandy and Shelby have been calling every hour on the hour wondering where in the hell you were last night
Erika: I WAS THERE... it was just total chaos, we kept missing each other
KJ: When are you going to join the 20th century and get a cell phone?
Erika: NEVER, I hate those things - now, if you don't have anymore questions, Counselor, I'd like to go to the bathroom and pee... is that permissible?
KJ: I'm just concerned about you
Erika: (Heading upstairs) Save your concern for that ridiculous costume
KJ spots Gracie's van pulling up outside the house and goes to greet them.
Gracie: (Jumping out of the van) Yo, Kage
KJ: Hey Fingers
Zach: What's up, man... why are you dressed like a fruitcake?
KJ: This is my BALL COSTUME, Zach
Zach: Hence the question... why are you dressed like a fruitcake?
KJ: I figured I'd save the rabbi costume for you, Isaacson
Morrigan: So sorry to interrupt this lovely exchange of anti-semitism and homophobia but I really need to get my things!
KJ: (All smiles) Forgive me, I haven't had the pleasure
Morrigan: (Extending her hand) Morrigan McBride
Instead of shaking her hand, KJ kisses it as Gracie and Zach roll their eyes.
KJ: KJ von Meer
Morrigan: (Returning the smile) It's nice to meet you, Mr. von Meer
KJ: Please, call me "KJ"
Zach: Please call me bored!
Gracie: We're here to get Morri's U-Haul off of your property
KJ: That's too bad, it was just starting to really annoy my mother
All three laugh except Morrigan.
Morrigan: You're really ugly, KJ
All three stare at her in shock.
Morrigan: (Smirking at the incredibly handsome man) I just wanted to say something that you've never heard before
Everyone laughs and walks towards the large garage, separate from the mansion.
KJ: Congratulations on your heroism, Morrigan, that was the best thing I've seen on television in a long time
Zach: I helped
Morrigan: Thank you, I appreciate your family letting me keep my stuff here
KJ: No problem
Gracie gets paged.
Gracie: (Looking at it) COOL, my contact is going to help us out with that footage enhancement tomorrow!
KJ: What footage enhancement?
Zach and Morrigan glower at Gracie to shut up.
Gracie: (Without missing a beat) Porn videos, I got some new ones from The Netherlands and they need to be reworked
KJ: Honestly, Fingers, the real thing is better
Gracie: I am aware of that but there's money to be made here - you know what a skinflint Turner is... a girl has got to eat
All three look at her wide hips.
As they enter the garage, KJ flips on the lights, revealing over two dozen classic and late model cars with the U-Haul next a Lamborghini.
Gracie: Um, I think I'll go pull the van around
Unimpressed, Morrigan heads straight for her trailer.
Zach: IS THAT THE NEW DIABLO?
KJ: Yeah, do you want to go for a ride?
As KJ jogs off to get the keys, Zach hops in the car. Morrigan runs through the night of her car breaking down in her mind as she slowly circles the U-Haul.
Morrigan: (Looking at the bumper) That's odd
There's a film of dust on it except for a tiny spot at the end.
Morrigan: (Bending down) This has been wiped
Upon closer inspection, Morrigan notices some dried blood underneath the corner of the bumper and what appears to be a few scales.
Morrigan: (Jumping up) Oh my God!
As she runs towards the main house, she passes KJ on the way.
Morrigan: May I use your bathroom?
KJ: Go right ahead, you have seven to pick from... the Jungle Safari one is my favorite!
Once inside the mansion, Morrigan stops in her tracks for a moment to take in the grandeur of it all. As she walks among the opulent rooms, she rounds the corner and, once again, bumps into Erika as she comes out of the bathroom.
Erika: (Stunned) Ms. McBride?
Morrigan: We've got to stop meeting like this
Dr. von Meer does not smile.
Morrigan: Um, your brother said it was OK to use the bathroom
Erika: (Deadpan) Which one?
Morrigan: Uh, I'm not sure
The scientist gives the reporter a half-smile, steps aside, and gestures for her to use the one she just came from.
Morrigan abruptly closes the door behind her.
Morrigan: (Under her breath) FREAK JOB... with all of her money, she needs to buy a personality
Going over to the sink, Morrigan turns on the water and starts to search through the cabinets.
Morrigan: (Picking up a bottle of Karl Senior's Viagra) Ewww - too much information - now, where are the damn Q-Tips?
As she continues to go through the toiletries, she finds an unmarked bottle of pills hidden in a towel.
Morrigan: It's none of your business, it's none of your business - oh, what the hell
She opens the bottle and examines the medication inside.
Morrigan: This looks just like Caitlin's Epilepsy medication... interesting... but not my concern
Hiding the bottle back in the towel, she closes the cabinet and continues her hunt.
Morrigan: OF COURSE, the Q-Tips are in the Swarovski crystal swan jar, right in front of my face - great investigative skills, McBride
Quickly grabbing two of the them, she shuts the water and exits the room. On her way back to the garage, she stops in the kitchen and looks through the drawers.
Morrigan: This is sad, my whole house could fit into this one room
She comes across some Ziploc plastic bags.
Morrigan: (Grabbing two of them) YES
As she turns around to leave, Erika is standing there watching.
Erika: My brother also said you could pack a lunch?
Morrigan: No, no... I just... um, one of my... uh, I just need these, alright? - I'll PAY you for them
With her arms folded, Erika slowly approaches Morrigan, looking directly into her eyes.
Erika: Don't worry about that, tell me what you need them for?
Morrigan: (Backing away) A really unique water balloon fight - I should be going - good day, Dr. von Meer
She slips out the door and joins the others outside. Zach and KJ are speeding off in the Lamborghini as Gracie and Karl Senior fix the tire on the U-Haul and hitch the trailer to the back of the van.
Gracie: (Looking up) Hey Morri, this is KJ's dad, he's giving us a hand
Morrigan: I am forever in your debt, Mr. von Meer
Karl Sr.: It's my pleasure, ladies, how did this happen?
Morrigan: That's what I'd like to know
As Gracie and Karl Senior continue with their chit chat, Morrigan casually goes to the bumper, swabs the blood stain and scales with both Q-Tips, places them each in a baggie, and folds them away in her purse.
Gracie: That should do it, are you ready to roll?
Morrigan: What about Zach?
Gracie: (Looking down the road) We'll get him on the way
Karl Sr.: (Tossing his tools in the box) I guess I'll get Erika to help me with those financial reports... nice to have met you, Ms. McBride
Morrigan: (Climbing into the van) Thanks again for all of your help, Mr. von Meer
Looking down from her bedroom window, Erika watches them drive off. As the two women head onto the highway, KJ and Zach pull up along side of them and honk.
Gracie: Zach, get in here, we're leaving!
Zach: (Behind the wheel) Hmm, go see my crazy ex-girlfriend or drive an Italian sports car - DECISIONS, DECISIONS
Zach: (Pulling over) OK, OK
As Isaacson gets into the van, KJ saunters over to Morrigan.
KJ: (All smiles) Ms. McBride, would you like to accompany me to the Museum Ball this Friday night?
Morrigan is stunned silent as both Gracie and Zach nudge her in the ribs.
KJ: I'd like to get to know you better
Morrigan: Oh really?
KJ: That was a totally innocent statement
Morrigan: (Half smile) Oh, really?
KJ: Think of it as a prime opportunity to meet the fine citizens of Duquesa Bay
Zach: Hey, don't forget the fine citizens of Santa Conchita!
KJ: Whatever - also, think of it as a prime opportunity to dress up like a fool
Morrigan laughs and tosses her hair back as she considers his offer.
Gracie: (Sticking her head out the window) SHE'D LOVE TO, KAGE, WE'LL SEE YOU LATER
The van takes off down the road.
Morrigan: That was rude
Zach: You're learning
Gracie: Just a little reminder, we all have work tomorrow, I'd like to get your belongings taken care of so that I might enjoy the rest of my Sunday, thank you very much
Morrigan: I'm starving
Gracie: You're in luck, Amy makes the best BBQ tofu burger I've ever tasted
Zach: It tastes even better without the cat hair
A little later, they pull up in front of Amethyst Hill's house and find the bubbly blonde with a few purple braids hanging upside down from a magnolia tree.
Amethyst: ROSHUMBA, ROSHUMBA
Zach: (Getting out) Yep, we're here
Amethyst: Zachy is that you? - Roshumba is stuck in the tree again, come help me get her!
Zach: (Climbing up) Aw man
Gracie: Amy, this is your new renter, Morrigan McBride
Amethyst: (Jumping down) Hello, it's so nice to finally meet you
Morrigan: I deeply apologize for not being here sooner
Amethyst: No worries... what's your rising sign?
Morrigan: Um, I'm not sure
Amethyst: That's OK, we'll figure it out when I do your reading
Morrigan: My reading?
Amethyst: I love your name, by the way, it's so unique!
Morrigan: It's my mom's doing, dad wanted to name me "Mary"
Amethyst: Smart mom - my birthname is boring, that's why I had it legally changed the minute I turned 18
Morrigan: What was your original name?
Amethyst: That subject is OFF limits
Morrigan: Sorry, I'm just naturally curious
Amethyst: TYSON, STOP LICKING AMBER'S BUTT, THAT IS SO NOT COOL - CAN'T YOU SEE WE HAVE COMPANY?
Morrigan looks baffled as Gracie points out the cats on the porch.
Gracie: She names them after supermodels
Morrigan: Who doesn't?
A calico cat climbs out of the tree into Amy's arms.
Zach: (Jumping down) Your dumb cat scratched my nose!
Amethyst: Seeing your face was enough to repel her out of the tree, thank you Honey
Zach: You know how to thank me
The two start to flirt with each other.
Gracie: This is all really fun but let's get Morri's stuff MOVED
Over the next hour, they all bring boxes into the guest cottage. Morrigan pauses for a moment and looks around the English Country style rooms.
Morrigan: This is really NICE
Amethyst: Let me guess, Zach and Gracie told you horror stories about the decor in my house
Morrigan: No, no... well, they did mention a few things
Amethyst: (Picking up a purring Roshumba) Gracie should talk, have you seen her place?
Morrigan: Unfortunately so - but she also told me that you make the best BBQ tofu burger in the world
Amethyst: I'll prove it - after you get settled in, come on over and we can do the rent stuff when we eat
Morrigan: Sounds good
As Amethyst goes to leave, she pats Morrigan on the shoulder. The contact causes both of them to freeze for a second as Roshumba hisses.
Amethyst: (Suddenly turning very somber) You have been touched
Amethyst: (Leaving) We will do your reading soon!
Awhile later, with most of the stuff unpacked, Morrigan takes a break and stretches out on the couch. Gracie brings some lemonade and joins her.
Morrigan: Where's Zach?
Gracie: Off getting "thanked" by Amy
Morrigan: I thought they broke up?
Gracie: It's one of those, "I love you, I hate you, let's still have sex no matter what" relationships
Morrigan: I see
Gracie: Is your dad due soon?
Morrigan: I just called him a little bit ago and told him not to come - I'm fine and his wife is more than happy with her walnut armoire
Gracie: Are you sure you're OK, you've been through quite the weekend?
Morrigan: I'll be alright after I get a good night's sleep
Gracie: (Looking at her watch) Well, Zach should be done in a minute... literally... unless there's anything else you need, I'm going to get going
The two exchange hugs.
Morrigan: Thanks, Gracie, for all of your help - it means a lot
Gracie: We have the afternoon shift tomorrow, I'll be by to pick you up at 1:00, the mechanic should have your car ready by then
Morrigan: (Seeing her out the door) Great... have a good evening!
Gracie: And YOU have a QUIET one
Morrigan: (Under her breath) Here's hoping
Surfaced on July 1, 2000
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