Across the street from the Quartz County Morgue, Fingers and Eyes recline in Zach's car with the windows rolled down and the stereo turned up. Lifting her sunglasses, Gracie grabs Zach's arm and peers at his watch as he slurps down a large orange soda. Zach: What's with the fretting face? Gracie: Waiting for Morri to turn up makes me nervous Zach: (Taking a huge bite out of his sandwich) True
Zach: Ah, I can handle it... I'm a man! Gracie: Yes, your dangling Gumby air freshener totally screams that A white car passes by, causing Gracie to crane her neck. Zach: (Mouth full) Would you relax? - she'll be here, you just called her on the cell phone five minutes ago Gracie: I know but that girl is a lightning rod - she's been here, what, a month? - and look at all the weirdness that swirls around her Zach: Speaking of lightning rods, has your contact had any luck with that footage from the train wreck? Gracie: Not much, they're still trying to enhance it - we do know for sure that this person... creature... has one serious stick toy that I do NOT want to be on the other end of Zach: Huh, I wonder if there's a connection with this thing to the museum heist? Gracie: (Crunching on some potato chips) I certainly wouldn't be surprised Zach: Think the cops still suspect M&M? Gracie: I doubt it - the bank's security camera captured her chasing that hooded guy and, even if she were triple-jointed, there's no way she could knock herself out like that - besides, the Duquesa's Tears were recovered Zach: (Groaning) DON'T REMIND ME - I had to write sickening articles all week on "Captain Phelps' remarkable recovery of the stolen necklace" Gracie: His words? Zach: One of ten "Crunch Quotes" offered up in the Coast Guard's press release Gracie: Groovy Zach: If that toad-frag trumpets his do-gooding one more time, I'm going to hurl Gracie: Just do it on his shoes, not mine Zach: What I can't figure out is why the thieves didn't make off with the emerald or at least a couple of the pearls? - why is the clasp the only thing missing? Gracie: Maybe it broke off during the chase? Zach: I don't know, the whole thing is freaky Gracie: That's why we need to spend our afternoon sneaking around in the morgue, checking out corpses Zach: Are you going to finish that pasta salad? Gracie: (Handing it to him) I just hope we're done in time - Sig7 is new tonight Zach: Big deal, it's only a clip show Gracie: I got a few nasty e-mails from some of the "Siggies" - seems our JPEG of Ursula at the museum ball was not "flattering enough" Zach: (Spitting food) FUCK'EM - let them take the damn pictures and do the damn website! Gracie: Where in the hell is Morrigan? There's a long, awkward silence. Zach: Oh, did I tell you I'm thinking of getting the Chinese symbol for "mom" tattooed on my hand? Gracie: Just be sure it's not the one you use to beat off with Zach: LOVELY THOUGHT, GRACE Gracie: I thought so Isaacson pulls out a piece of paper with a bunch of characters on it and hands it to Takanachi. Zach: (Pointing to a character) I actually like the way this one looks but I have no idea what it means Gracie: (Folding up the paper and handing it back to him) Zachary, you've known me for two years - I am not Chinese, I am Japanese, and even if the characters WERE in Japanese, I STILL wouldn't be able to help you out because they did not teach me Japanese in my Washington State public school A tall, thin man with glasses saunters out of the coroner's office and takes off in his SUV. Gracie: (Watching) That's Justine's boss, right? Zach: Yep - that's our cue to head on in As the two get out of the car and make their way across the street, Morrigan zooms around the corner and pretends to run them over. Zach: HA, very funny - BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL Gracie: What took you so long? Morrigan: Zach gave me directions Zach: Hey Morrigan: Actually, I just had to make a not-so-quick stop at the post office Gracie: No mysterious packages handed off to you? Zach: No evil band of letter carriers reciting poetic warnings? Morrigan: Nope, it was all very uneventful Gracie: That's a first Morrigan: Let me go park and I'll meet you two inside Zach: Gracie and I are taking bets on whether or not you toss your cookies Morrigan: (Softly) I've seen death before The two watch as the white Mustang speeds off. Gracie: (Sighing) I really like Morri but she is just way too creepy Zach: That's a high compliment coming from a woman with eight fingers and a tattoo of gigantic eye above her cooch Gracie soft-kicks him in the butt as they go inside. Justine Mirabello, the assistant coroner and best bowler on their team, struts down the hall wearing her scrubs. Justine: ZACH... you're late! Zach: Uh, we were waiting for your boss to leave Justine: That was five minutes ago Gracie: (Looking at a wall clock) Technically, it was 6 minutes and 22 seconds ago Justine: Do you know what kind of position I put my ass in to sneak you two in here? Gracie and Zach glance at each other and try not to smirk. Justine: Yeah, that's real mature Zach: Thanks, Justi, we really do appreciate this Justine: YOU BETTER - by the way, I had dinner with Trevor the other night, he took me to Le Petite Bistro Zach: Great, I hope you two had a good time Justine: Guess where I want you to take me? Gracie: (All excited) CHUCK E CHEESE? Zach: Le Petite Bistro Justine: LE PETITE BISTRO Zach: Well, Trev is middle management, he can afford to take you to Le Petite Bistro - I am a starving newspaper reporter, I can afford to take you to Le Petite Burger King Morrigan walks in and joins the trio. Morrigan: KJ wants to take me to that bistro restaurant, I hear it's wonderful Justine: (Scowling at Zach) Who is she? Morrigan: (Extending her hand) Hi, I'm Morrigan McBride - you must be Justine Justine: (Still scowling at Zach) Did I say you could bring friends? Gracie: You said he could bring me Justine: You don't count, Takanachi - look, I am not selling tickets to the circus here - you've just upped the chances of me getting fired Morrigan: I can assure you, Ms. Mirabello, I will not divulge you as a source... Justine: SAVE IT - we have an hour before my boss gets back The assistant coroner pulls Zach down the hall with her as Gracie and Morrigan trail behind them. Morrigan: (Aside to Gracie) They make a cute couple Gracie: It will never be anything more than casual because Zach is intimidated by her superior intelligence Morrigan: How do you know she's smarter? Gracie: She's a member of Mensa... and she has "Superior Intelligence" as her personal e-mail Morrigan: That's great - good for her! Gracie: Is there ANYONE you ever find fault with? Morrigan: (Looking off) One or two... All four are now in the main lab. Zach and Gracie react to the smell as Morrigan observes every aspect of the room. Justine: (Pulling off the covers to the bodies) Ms. McBride, I apologize if I came off as a little snippy - I've had to deal with incompetent co-workers all day, the irresponsibility of my sister, and, unless it's a bouquet of flowers, I don't really care for surprises Morrigan: I understand completely - I assumed that Zach was going to tell you I'd be here Both women give him a dirty look. Zach: (Looking at Justine) If I had told you, would you have agreed? Justine: Got me there - GRACIE, PLEASE DON'T PLAY WITH THE LIVER Gracie: (Poking at the organ on a tray) Sorry Justine: Oh, I forgot to mention, Zach, your idiot friends - Russ and Gina - didn't even have the decency to include me in their wedding - I set them up, after all! Morrigan: That's horrible - if it weren't for you, there wouldn't be a wedding Justine: THANK YOU Gracie: Oh my God, I'm going to be sick Zach: Is it the blood? Gracie: No, the female bonding Justine: These are the five bodies that were brought in the night of the museum heist Morrigan: Five? Justine: The woman on the left was found floating in the bay, she had on the same clothing as the four male victims here Zach: She was one of the guards? Justine: You say that like she couldn't have been Zach: Don't get me wrong - I'm all for equal opportunity - equal opportunity DEATH Morrigan: How did she die? Justine: She had a cyanide capsule embedded in her tooth, crunched it open and took her own life Gracie: Sweet Zach: Why would she kill herself over some stolen jewels? Morrigan: She didn't want to give up her employer Zach: C'mon now, your life for a stupid necklace? Morrigan: A very expensive necklace Zach: Not THAT expensive to off yourself Morrigan: Maybe if she didn't, someone else would've done it for her Gracie: (Looking closer at the body) What are those scratches there? Justine: She was apparently in some kind of scuffle - we calculated it to be right around the time of death Morrigan: (Growing uneasy) Do you know what made those marks? Justine: Not yet but all of these victims have them Zach: What about the dudes? Justine: (Pointing to a male body with its head dissected) We call this one "Typical I" because he was killed by multiple gunshots, a main one to the back of the head Morrigan: Someone didn't want him talking Justine: And this one over here is "Typical II" - he just had his neck snapped Zach: Oh, is that all Gracie: What about the other two? Justine: "Anomaly & Conundrum" - my names for them - well, they're a little bit different Justine goes over to the first body and looks at a chart. Justine: "Nommy" was apparently hurled into the courtyard and landed on his skull - not a good thing Gracie: How do you know someone threw him? Justine: The angle and force of impact - there's no way a simple fall could have done that kind of damage Zach: What about a blunt object? Justine: A blunt object that has the same pattern of cement that cracked his head open? - no, he was definitely hurled... with the same velocity someone hit by a car would be Gracie: How is that possible? Morrigan: (Looking at his hand) And why is his wrist crushed? Justine: Hello, that's why we call him Nommy! Zach: (Going over to the other man) What about this one? Gracie: (Admiring his lower section) What a waste! Justine: "Conny" here is even more bizarre - he was thrown UP and impaled on a spiky metal sculpture... I always hated that sculpture - anyway, this is what we usually see in the South when people are skewered on tree branches and on church steeples from a tornado Zach: Maybe he fell from the museum roof onto this thing? Justine: Nope - the roof is nowhere near this sculpture, it's physically impossible for him to fall onto it - we did the math Morrigan: Then who... or what did this? Justine: "Magic PCP Man" Morrigan: Excuse me? Justine: That's the excuse my boss wants to use - even 10 guys amped on an adrenaline rush could not do this - AND there are no traces of Phencyclidine in any of their systems Gracie: Why would you agree to this? Justine: I like my job and these guys were all killed in a very grotesque way - I do not want to be killed in a very grotesque way Zach: (Turning his head) What about... ooh The smell and sight finally catch up to him. In a delayed reaction, Zach loses his lunch all over everything. Watching her buddy causes Gracie to do the same. Justine: (Dry heaving) YOU JUST PUKED ON THE EVIDENCE, GOD The two run out of the room, down the hall and into the restrooms as Morrigan remains with Justine. Justine: (Trying to catch her breath) What, do you have a stomach of steel? Morrigan: (Calmly) This doesn't bother me - what bothers me is the similar characteristic these victims have - a characteristic they most likely share with the three men found on Celoso Beach Justine: (Growing nervous) What do you mean? Morrigan: I want to take you to Le Petite Bistro Justine: Uh, thanks, you seem like a nice girl and all but I like Zach Morrigan: It would be repayment for a favor I'm about to ask of you Justine: In that case, does next Tuesday at 7:00 work? Morrigan: Fine - I am guessing these victims have traces of a slimy, scaly substance - a substance also found on the Celoso Beach victims Justine: (Jaw dropping) How do you know about that? Morrigan: I'm having some tests done by a contact at SCU - I want to compare his results with yours on this substance Justine: Huh, Santa Con is so inferior Morrigan: (Half smile) That's why I need a woman of superior intelligence to help me out - do we have a deal? Justine: Absolutely! Morrigan: Great - oh, and not one word to Zach or Gracie on this Justine: You're out to out-scoop Zach, I LOVE IT The two chuckle and head down the hall where they meet up with a still-queasy Isaacson and Takanachi. Justine: (Hands on her hips) Because of your weakness, I am going to have to clean up your mess before my boss returns Zach: Sorry Gracie: We owe you Justine: BIG TIME - my bathroom needs painting, clear a weekend! The assistant coroner opens the door for them and they file out. Justine: It was nice meeting you, Morrigan, I'll see you around Morrigan: Thanks for all of your help, Justine Gracie and Zach shuffle to their car with Morrigan following. Morrigan: Are you two going to be alright? Zach: I need a beer Gracie: I need a nap A blonde, smiling woman in tap shoes clops over to them. Gracie: Hey, Joenne Joenne: Hey guys, what are you doing here? Zach: We came to see your sister Joenne: Is she in a good mood? There is a long silence. Joenne: Uh-oh, I was late with the rent check and I came over here with a partial payment - maybe now is not a good time? Zach: You know your sister, what do you think? Joenne: (Sad face) You're right She turns to face Morrigan. Joenne: Hi, I watch you on the news Morrigan: (Extending her hand) Morrigan McBride, nice to meet you Joenne: (Shaking it) I'm Joenne Mirabello, Justine's twin Morrigan studies her face. Joenne: Fraternal Morrigan: Ah Joenne: How do you like life in the Santa Conchita Valley? Morrigan: It's been... interesting Joenne: I bet - the beaches here are beautiful but you really should explore the mountain areas... lots of fascinating things to discover Morrigan: (Raising an eyebrow) Hmm, I'll keep that in mind Gracie: How was your dance class? Joenne: Actually, I'm on my way to it - I guess I'll deal with Justine later - cool meeting you, Morrigan and I'll see you two at bowling! They all take off in separate directions. Inside a dark cavern, a hooded figure hands a letter to another hooded figure. They bow to each other and the one delivering the piece of mail exits. Soft, feminine hands, with coral fingernail tips, rip open the envelope. The contents are carefully studied.
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Surfaced on July 1, 2000
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